Shit! I hate the sound of shouting it cuts through me like glass. Nowadays I don’t really know what I am doing with myself apart from eating myself stupid. I have this burning inside of me, growing tall, like a tree is holds many secrets and over the years it has grown much knowledge. This time it hurts growing older and it hurts. You think of all of the things in life you have experienced and times it by a million and you’re not even close to all of the things you could have done. Today I am sad. Tomorrow is a new day. The rain is still poring, it lashes against the ground and holds a rhythm of its own. The sky is murky and unpredictable reflecting on life itself. Sun shine and showers. Sometimes I feel my eyes begin to melt with absolute sadness and my lungs begin to cave and my heart beats a beat I am not sure of. It’s like that split second when you lean to far back on you chair and think you are going to fall. Falling all the way to the hard ground that gives no give. Lies hurt you know. But so does the truth. My chosen second language is sarcasm and it does me no favours. I hold your heart in mine and it fits. Sometimes I confuse myself. I am cold now and tired and as I lye awkwardly trying desperately to warm up I notice my eye lids slowly starting to become heavier and heavier, the moment I have been waiting for all day, and as I close my eyes I see you. You’re smiling that smirk that you do and your eyes... and then I remember, all these feelings and emotions flooding back, and your smile makes me smile and I am happy again. My eyes closed and on the other side all I see is you.
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