emotional

Emotions are stronger than ever today. I feel i have made some of the worst decisions of my life. Being laughed at is my worst fear and i can't let it go. So here's what went down. Last night i was on msn to a keen boy who goes by the name of Allan myatt, he stayed on till two in the morning telling be how he felt about be, so he likes me, i let him down gently!
Mean while i was also on msn to Kim when i received a sweet message from someone that reads 'how come you ain't come', there was a party but i couldn't get a lift because my mom was working and i didn't wan't to sleep at a lads house, not yet anyway! i told him and he sent back
'i miss you :(' so shocked i asked kim what to do and so i put... awww that's sweet, you sure you aint drunk' his reply 'i don't have to be drunk to be sweet to you' i was so emotional at this point, love is in the air kinda thing!! :) i text back 'awww thanks babe i really appreciate that' i was on a all time high telling kim how i felt about it all then.. he said 'babe, what is all that about' i zoomed back down to earth like a rocket!! i needed help and so kim helped and so i put
'awkward boy' trying to feel good about it all
and kim said will he get the hint and ohhh yes he did, he put
'duz this mean that you like me' i froze on the spot needing help not knowing what to put, i wanted to say yes but felt is was the wrong time, what him being pissed!! lol!...
so i put...
'i just dont think we are close enough to say anything like that at the minute' he then put 'mmm... so what are you up to?' i said 'msn the usual, you?' he said 'sanding around talking to steven and connor' so i then put 'so anything been going on then ey? has connor done anything with kelly yet lol? x' he said 'nah nothing much so who else you talking?' so i put thinking that he would open up to me if he knew i we're alone so put 'just you now no one is on msn!' then he put 'awww ill keep talking to you' and i put 'thank you i have a shit cold how is the man flu??' him a bit shit so a cold that's weak' then i put 'gonna go to bed now enjoy the rest of your night/morning' ' ok night x' i said 'night' and it was over like that.

Then today...

over msn to Kelly i was told that my x is madly in love with me and i dint know what to do... and when he was pissed he made a comment on my boobs... again!! fuck it is fucked!!

please leave a comment telling me how to delete it for in in future!!

THANK FUCK ITS FRIDAY

Today to my surprise was a mint day. Not like over the top with goodness but not like totally bad with shit. So yeah first lesson ICT option and no matter how many lessons i have still mange to do no work then science where we watched a video about the world and the cute little pair, no names, really should keep there hands off each other, the other lesson i watched in amazement as the male didn't know where to put his hand and when he finally placed them round her waist tugged away and if looks could kill! I then had R.E and what a lesson me Nessa and Shelby had a real heart to heart and things were said that made me happy and some that make me sad. That's the was life roles...
Then maths OMG we were being watched but i managed to understand A level work, wow!
and then my favorite lesson at the end of the day, English. it is a fuck about lesson and when you have the constant sound of a dick in your ear it is hard to do any work!! D of E after school we were given a letter and that's all!! so at break nothing happened and at dinner my drink spilt every where, in my bag!! more sweet texts trying to organise a night out! mom and dad greeted me at home with a new top and a cup of tea, whoop! so this day has been good :D

dinner time so i am off

Thursday 29th January 2009

Ok so, as i sit her on my bed i wonder what to write, i wonna talk about life on a whole. Some say that life is a bitch, others say that life is a gift and something that all should be proud of, but lets face it life is like a giant mood swing!! still pondering on what to write. School, it hit me now that i have one year left. Not that it is a bad thing. I am shocked how, despite being in year 10, how childish everyone remains! Most are judging people around them, some are kind and understanding other hold back there true feelings and the rest are just scared to leave the comfort zone of there friends and put themselves out there. Whereas i will find joy in the smallest things, anything brings a smile to my face, laughing is what gets me through my day when all i can wait is for it to end, so lauging fits help to raise the bar on life. I love it when i get cute texts from the people i love, the ones i dont delete! I also love it when i catch certain people looking over at me, even on the darkest of times no money weather is rubbish, it puts a beam on my face and i am on a high for the rest of the day. Arguments make me upset and angry, so i have tried a new approch and putting poeple on mute really works, note to all: you can only do with alot of will power. loving all my friendds at the minute sorry if i seem off i am just unwell and trying to get better LOVE YOU ALL ..x sorry if i have had a go or made you think 'shut up'
so talked way to long until i can be bothered to to this again or just get some spare time
and sorry for any mistake i have made i just dont wonna read through it all again! until next time


XOXO (Gossip Girls__)

So nothing happened today...
school day, gossip got out... people got hurt
oh well...
and people pissed me off and told me just not to bother talking to them
so i am fine with that...
i cant believe that i am 15 and not feeling an wiser!!
this feels shit! las pissing me off grrr... i am like "dont
tell me to go away because once i have my back turned i aint turning back!"

however things have changed for the better and a new bunch of friends bring happy times and many laughs, and yes i mean kim and kelly ans the joy that comes
with them both!!

xoxo

Day 2 , name the 17th of january 2009

Ok, so today was mint!!
sleeping at kims was great, we woke up washed and dryed hair
took the black nail varnish of our nails because last night kim tried to paint them however it was a poor attempt and it ended up all over my hand... note to self: in future do own nails!!
we then decided what to wear and paint nails, again, and while doing so kim logged on to msn where someone told us some shocking news... another not to self: dont tell anyone...
then after realising we were late for our train the shrewsbery we went to telford town centre instead! i got some right bargins woop and am going to look real mint at the disco!!

So i got some wet look leggings, a real cute dress, a loose fitting grey top, a baggie black top, some floral print shoes, black high heels i am so happy. So then we decied to make our way to the train station were for a second time that day we missed the train that we wanted and the next train was in a hour and after that we had walk back to kims house sooo... me made a quick call to my dad who picked us up and took kim home after that i came home and had curry woo, my favorite. when we had all finished we sang our heart out on singstar lol some time that i have!!
well thats all really, so yeah thats like it ..x
next time!!

The start

so kim introduced me to this blog thing so kim would say i am here and i am blogging.

so yeah... start at the beginning of the, usual day, friday 16th january and despite now being 15 thing are still the same, yet still feel closer to the future. anyway ermm... i was going to talk all about my day at school but as i am struggling to remember what i had first lesson... looks like i wont start there! Sooo... school... its all good at the minute... today was ok and like usual i laughed till i cried and i had my favorite lesson last, english... well the people in it anyway. we laughed till we cried and manged to get work done at the same time well at pass level!!
So after school i went kimmms woop! i have been like so excited for the weekend even though it has only been planed for a week! ;) so now i am at kims watching chick flicks, eating crap, drinking hot chocolate
sooo im audi, peace. (L)xxxx