This week has been bliss i really wonna speak from my heart in this blog. a few home truths from the past have come back to bite me in the ass, and i don't like it one bit!! i went to London on Thursday and had a really great time, i have some new great friends with a good head on their shoulders that make me feel a whole lot better... you are not who i thought you were and i am sorry for thinking little of you ... you are well matched.
I feel ever so slightly worried about previous events that have happen in the past i say i hate you but really i am afraid of you. i never want to be that involved and wanting something more in my life again. i am afraid of my own weaknesses and what i am not capable of. you made me cry today and you weren't ever there. i feel so ashamed and i ha vent done anything wrong. everyone knows nothing! and i hate it. how can this happen. i just want to crawl into a dark space where nobody can see or hear me. to clear my thoughts!! stop looking at me you make it worse. i am overwhelmed by fear and it needs to go, but no matter how hard i try it is still there! i find it hard to look at you so please so away.
i think the real reason i find it so hard is because i felt that it wasn't right and that i should have been with someone else the whole time. you know who you are... i know who you are please forgive me for taking you trust (L)
i pray to god that you can forgive me and all the people i may have hurt along the way i apologize
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