Fuck Sake

Today i went to the funeral. It was so sad, one of the worst i have been too. I also went to work at 5 i am so tired. McDonald's afterwards, i am so unhealthy. I can't remember the last time i saw or spoke to Steven. Sometimes you give people exactly what they want and they will always manage to throw it back in your face. Call you the name of a person you hate, then not apologise. Today i realised that life is far too short for people to complain. Today i saw my aunt and cousins who i haven't spoken to for six years, and i thought that life was too short too ignore them, so i braved it. I told her exactly who i was, and too my surprise she hugged me and started crying in the middle of my shift. I wanted to be the bigger person, i wanted to be brave, i wanted to face the world. i wanted someone to tell, i wanted someone to listen, i wanted someone to care enough to listen to my story while i was telling them, but i guess you can't have your cake and eat it right? I would really like to catch up with my friends sometime. I am actually so sad right now, sitting around for the phone to go, or to get a message, why do people always leave me hanging? I will give it to at least one in the morning, even though i have to get up at 7 in the morning, i would do it for him. Fuck it i am going to bed no one gives a shit to ask, i guess i will climb the wooden hill alone to a family that are well in to the land of nod! Good night xxx