What's the voice?

What's the voice inside my head telling me to do irrational things? Who speaks to me, to inform me? To tell me, to question me to congratulate me to help me? Who!? What person is without this voice? What person is with this voice? Is it me?
You know the things that you say in your head you want nobody to ever hear, we all have them, the things not even a blogger could hold.

Destruction.

How bad must something be? what makes bad? definition of bad? Bad = life ending? is that bad, it happens to everyone in the end!

Death.

Full Stop. what can you say about it in the end we are always defeated.

i am worried. upset, frustrated, calm, collective, angry, ashamed and most of all scared.

too young!

plus may i mention it shouldn't have to happen, life is the most amazing experience someone can undertake and yet in one clean sweep we could be struck out. so fragile yet so strong.

My Mind careful constructed down to the last 'T'. But its bursting at the seams, so much to do and such little time. everything is becoming muffled and nobody knows whats what? i don't know whats what?

i need to have strength, the power, the will to help. too continue...

Sluggish.

That's what i am, SLUG to the ISH! constantly questioning, constantly answering?
So NOW what?
to laugh or to cry? or to just do both because you don't really know what to do.
to eat to smile to talk like nothing is wrong, the world is still spinning. Great!

Tired.

FULL STOP!