Mission

Don't you think that sometimes you are exactly who you are for a reason? That nobody in this world should try and change you or for that matter even want to. Nobody is perfect of course. Why is it that all of my waking hours i feel i should be bettering myself to become a better person and on the other hand i wish people would just accept me for me! Sometimes i want change. I want to feel completely at ease and normal and happy, but the truth is life doesn't and never has worked that way. I want to stop hating people, but that is just me. I don't really hate i just you know dislike, a lot for that slight period of time. Afterwards of course i am fine and rather resent myself. There is a dull aching pain in my chest, it feels quite heavy and all i can think is, i have so fucking much to do, so many things to think of, so many events coming up. Nothing takes these things of my mind. I work for the money, I go to college to please and to hopefully get a good job to earn money. But the truth be told i don't want to any more.